Friday, October 14, 2005

Heavy thoughts for the New Year

When is it too much? In terms of my father, things are looking pretty bad for him. We have consulted with a rav regarding resuscitation and intubation orders. He's been in the hospitals for the better part of eight weeks now. He was home for the two days of rosh hashana and the one day of yom kippur. He's been in the hospital all the days surrounding it and is going back today. He is not mobile but is fully aware and conscience. Sometimes I think that is not so great and when I look at the alternative I realize I am wrong. With all that he has been through, we inevitably ask ourselves which is better, living so sickly for so long or g-d forbid the alternative. I think it's easy for us to ask being that we have the option to go see him and talk to him in the hospital or at home. I believe that when there is no option of this anymore, I will have my answer and wonder how I even questioned it. I asked him how he would like to handle end of life issues, and he responded however the rabbi's tell me to putting all of his own feelings and pain aside. He faces these issues with more maturity, grace, and humor than I would ever have expected to see. I am a regular at the hospital on most days besides shabbos and yom tovim. I try not to complain too much about the commuting and obvious strains on my family. On Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur I davened that I should have my father for a long long time in a healthy form but I think I would now change that to any form I can have him in.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Good Yom Tov

Just wanted to wish everyone a good yom tov and a healthy and happy new year. May this year bring only good things to everyone. May whatever g-d has planned for us be for the best.