Monday, March 20, 2006

Laid Back To a Fault

I've been called many things in my life and I've certainly come to confrontational bouts many times. Usually I let it all slide. I'm extremely unconfrontational and would rather avoid fights. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm laid back.

The things that most people are sensitive towards, I really don't care much about so why bother fighting. Additionally, most people who are more head strong cannot be persuaded that easily to change their minds or thoughts, so why waste my energy on them? I've always felt an argument is only useful when it can impact change of some sort. I've always valued this laid back quality of mine and was kind of shocked when it got used in an argument against me. I wasn't really sure how being laid back could be thought of as a detriment when it's obvious how much easier my life is due to it. It got me thinking about the pros and cons of being laid back.

Being easy going lends itself to a relaxed way of life on most levels.

When my children have small ailments or problems that most mothers would be running to doctors with immediately, changing their schedules, and picking up kids early, I kind of let it slide for a day or two before taking it seriously which most of the time it's not.
When my house is messy and I'm too exhausted at night to clean, tomorrow is another day, it can always get done then.
While most mother's are anxious about homework and school, I don't really sweat it as long as my kids are not too far behind. I'd rather them take time out of school to spend with family than take school too seriously.
This can be taken a step further to tutors and therapists as well. Unless I believe there is real problem, my kids are not getting these just because all other kids are.
While others strive to keep up with the Jones, especially in the five towns, I don't really care much about what other people do. I'm totally confident with how I do things.
Politics, kind of useless unless you're going to devote yourself fully towards it and impact change. To just discuss and discuss without resolution is just useless.

Don't confuse all of these issues with neglectfulness. While my children aren't made crazy by school and other obligations of theirs, I do teach them the value of whatever it is that they are doing. They do their homework when they come home and review everything. If there was an issue that I noticed with my kids, I would certainly take them to therapists for evaluations or tutors if needed. Obviously if there is a real medical issue I do not ignore it by any stretch of the imagination. I take care of things but not at the expense of making myself or my family crazy with things. I'm not sure if I'm the opposite of OCD which would probably be total neglecting. I'm just completely moderate.

On the opposite end, there certainly are negatives.

While moderation is good on an emotional level, it lends itself to moderation at best or even under achieving on a practical level.
By thinking why make them crazy over school or extra curricular activities, chances are they won't be the best they can be at them as they won't push themselves.
I could be much more productive but in my head if I'm not going to do something fully, why do it at all.
It leads to indecisiveness. On a small level, when I go to a restaurant, I have no strong opinion about any individual item leaving me to toss back and forth between the choices. Decision making is very difficult for me.
I don't get the highs and lows that excite or destroy competitive people. This could be either positive or negative but on a negative note makes me a less passionate person.

All in all I would continue to be the laid back person that I am and try and keep the negatives at bay if I could. When I look at all the nervous, stressed out, and compulsive people out there, I deem myself lucky to have this trait. They have many struggles on a day to day level while I only really get hit or impacted by very serious issues.


Blogger Air Time said...

Do you think you are friends with laid back people more often or high strung people, based on your own personal way of benig?

2:58 PM  
Blogger swiftthinker said...

Friends with both. Probably more at ease with laid back people just because I understand them more.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Still Wonderin' said...

Pretty impressive to be laid back in the 5 towns of overachievers.

5:57 PM  
Blogger HumanBeforeJewish said...

as long as laid back does not translate to lazy, ure doing good. ull live longer than most, according to "the experts". and i like ur attitude about arguing, but i will say that venting, even in confrontational mode, is very therapuetic, a verbal punching bag of sorts.

11:19 AM  
Blogger swiftthinker said...

humanbeforejewish (HBJ), don't worry I vent all the time to many people's dismay.

11:41 AM  

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