RandomThoughts

My Mom's Best Friend

2006-12-28T12:09:00.000-05:00

Hi All (If there's anyone left),

It's been a while so I'm not sure if anyone reads this anymore but regardless I'll use this arena to vent. In the past, I've spoken here predominantly about my dad's illness and death which occurred about a year ago now. I'm sorry to report that my mom has sustained another great loss in her life.

We got Muti about 12 years ago as a tiny little baby dog. My brother and I were both still at my parent's home at the time and we kept her in an egg crate. She was about the size of our arm from finger to elbow. We used to cradle her in our arm and hold her like a baby. She cried and cooooed before barking and warmed on the graces of everyone she met. Prior to having this dog, I would have walked across the street if I saw a dog on my path. I was frightened of all animals.

Soon enough she started to grow. She got very playful. She ran circles around herself chasing her tail for endless amounts of time. If you took out a towel to play with her, she could entertain you for hours trying to grab it and hang on. Her zest for these activities was literally like watching a child walk and talk for the first time. Her appetite for food was ferocious. We trained her to not walk on carpets and go to the bathroom out back without anyone having to walk her. She was such a great dog with so little maintenance. She ate the food you gave her but was pleasantly surprised when you gave her real food. She listened when you called her or sent her away. She knew her place and always stayed out of the way when people who were scared of her were around. She was very gentle around my kids later on and was so careful not to move near them as the strength of her eventual 60 pound body could have knocked them over with just a wag of her tail. She was really all that you could ask for in a dog.

When my father passed away, Muti became my mom's security blanket. She was thrilled to still have something in the house to come home to and her frightening bark let my mother know when there were strangers or anyone around. My mom didn't sit down to meals entirely alone as there was always another physical being around. I understand now where the quote "Dog is man's best friend" comes from. Muti was just what my mom needed at the time to keep her from going insane.

About two to three weeks ago, Muti started showing signs of sickness. Her belly swelled up and she became very lethargic. My mom took her to a vet to get her checked. They said it was probably advanced illness of some sort and wanted to take ex-rays. She asked the vet what could be done for any of the illnesses suspected. He said not much do to her age. She did not subject Muti to the ex-rays. She brought her home not sure what to do with her. We all told her to put Muti to sleep and keep her out of pain and misery. She couldn't bring herself to do it knowing that when she got to the vet, her sweet dog was going to get killed. Last night Muti came into my mom's room and was struggling with her breathing. My mom called my brother and told him she wanted to take the dog right then to take care of it. She couldn't watch Muti suffer. The dog barely made to the car on her own. By the time they got to the vet, my brother had to carry the dog in. They walked into the door, and as they did Muti fell to the floor and died. It was natural and my mom was happy she didn't have to do anything to her. She and I will miss her terribly.

Good Luck AirTime

2006-07-05T09:35:00.000-04:00

With a farewell barbeque, we bid Airtime a Goodbye and Good Luck. As it turns out, with the Airtime's making aliyah we might get a chance to see them more frequently. Chances are we will visit Israel sooner than we will get to Detroit.

We got together last night and partied like it was 1999 with people who we have not seen since about then. For me it was a chance to catch up with not only the immediate Airtimes but also some extended Airtimes. I always like to hear how the family who is not making aliyah is taking the move. In the case of Airtime, it looks like the whole family on both sides will be there eventually so it's good news all around.

I want to wish Airtime and family much hatzlacha and lots of happiness with their move. We are very proud of them and we hope everything runs smoothly and easily for them.

If You Like To Dance

2006-07-05T09:26:00.000-04:00

Check this guy out? It doesn't matter what your genre is, he's got it all.

Dance

It doesn't matter what your genre is, he's got it all.

Like GrandFather Like Son

2006-06-12T15:49:00.000-04:00

Kids are so cool. So many things I love about them. Their innocence is great. It makes them susceptible to being real and always showing their true emotions without facade. Their zest and love for new things and thirst for acquiring knowledge makes everyday a new and fun learning experience for them. They go through life not afraid to love or be loved, displaying untainted and unconditional expression and joy. The one thing I really love about kids, specifically my own, is how they are just like the hub and I and even my dad.

While all of my kids look exactly like hub (in my house they ask who the momma is), my middlest, who is 4, seems to come right from my side of the family in terms of personality. To be honest he is really most similar to my father. He has been goofing around since the day he was born. When teachers ask him in school how to describe himself, he can only say that he is silly. He carries jokes in his head and will stop at no cost to make people laugh. My father used to say that he might be the only person that can carry the title of Rabbi and comedian. It helps that he is purely delicious looking with bright blue eyes just like my dad. He enjoys the same foods as my pop and I, with our favorites being baked ziti, chips, and pickles. He doesn't take school to seriously as it comes very easily to him. He is a night person like my dad and I, so the other night as he was lying in bed about an hour and half after his bedtime, I went to lie down with him. For a while now, he has been asking me different math questions all the time.

"Mommy what's 1 and 1?... 2"
"Mommy what's 8 and 8?... 16"
"Mommy what's 32 and 32?... 64"
"Mommy what's 64 and 64?... 128"
"Mommy what's 6 and 12?... 18"

All along I have been thinking, great he has good memorization skills, thank you cyberchase. Just out of curiosity, I started throwing out random numbers to him. He started answering properly and I was thinking, cool he's getting lucky with the answers. Then I started giving him 3 numbers to add together. Again right answers. Then I went onto four numbers. Then subtraction. Right again again and again. It then dawned on me that he wasn't getting lucky anymore and really he is just a math genius like my dad. We now go through our tables every night. The 3 table then the 4 table. "Oh mom, I love the 5 table, it's sooo easy." The nicest part about this newest find is that my son continues to be a living, breathing resemblance and reminder of my dad.

24... Final Thoughts

2006-05-23T10:57:00.000-04:00

OK, could you believe MARTHA LOGAN? I mean, what she wouldn't do for her country! She showed tremendous courage in her act to frame her husband. She did it as an act of revenge for herself, for Aaron, and for the country. I didn't think that she had it in her to use her feminine powers of seduction while on all that medication but she was never clearer of mind. The only shady part of her performance last night to me was that smirk she had when security stepped up for Logan during his speech. While she despised Logan for how he acted, and certainly felt the weight of the world on her shoulders as the only one that could've delayed Logan's trip, I still think that she should have showed some compassion when he was taken just due to their long history together and the fact that she did truly love him before. Other than that, Martha was superb.

We knew that Logan had to go and there would be confrontation but I like how it all played out. I mean the final battle between he and Martha was riveting. Jack, being as slick as he was, placing the recorder on Logan himself, was brilliant. Logan was so well played and he had me convinced that he believed that he did everything for the country. He was so despicable that I had to close my eyes during the intimate Logan/Martha scene. It's great to see the villain go but I applaud his performance.

Onto Chloe. I love her. I'm a little perturbed at the husband being brought in. I don't like new characters popping up out of nowhere that have a history with the old ones. I only started watching the show last season so maybe he was on before but he is new to me. I loved loved loved the Chloe/Edgar picture. Such a great way to recap their strong bond. Nice touch for the writers.

Buchanan and homeland security woman, that was cute. I guess they are like the new Tony/Michelle. The show needs a good CTU worker's romance. We know Chloe will never get Jack. She will just pine away for him forever and risk her life continuously for him.

Audrey was a bit irritating. I would have liked to have seen her father back. They should have been smarter than to assume that Kim would be calling from a phoneline out to nowhere. Where were there instincts or were they just to wrapped up in the moment?

Jack's acting was superb as usual. Nothing left to say about him. His action stunts I don't care for much. OK, 1000 different ways to kill people, great! I liked him bloodied up at the end. Good makeup. I forgot about those Chinese folks. A nice connection from here to next season. Well done, 24. Hopefully, I'll see you next season.

Question about boys

2006-05-23T10:24:00.000-04:00

Someone quoted me this today:

A daughter is a daughter for life
A son is a son till he takes a wife.

Should I be concerned about this as the mother of 3 boys?

Finales

2006-05-17T10:14:00.000-04:00

I get a little choked up this time a year when all the shows are coming to a close. I don't catch too many of them throughout the year with the exception of Grey's Anatomy and 24 which I am religious about. But when it comes time for the shows to end, I feel compelled to watch them and see how they conclude. The toughest for me are the Series Finales even if I haven't watched the show for years. That 70's Show, 7th Heaven, The West Wing, Commander in Chief, and Will and Grace are all closing their doors for good.

More than the final episodes, I like seeing the cast take their final bows. It makes me see them as people and realize how most of them have become a family after working with each other day in and day out for so many years. These actors are then out of a job and looking for work. Will they go into movies? Perhaps another TV show. If they can't let go, they will try and come up with a sequel to the show that just closed. Closing the doors to comfortability and opening them up to new possiblities. One door closes while a new one opens. And such is the circle of life. Ahhhh, you learn so much from TV.

How I'd love to dance with my father again

2006-05-03T10:54:00.000-04:00

The lyrics flow in my head constantly even though I am not able to listen to music....

Back when I was a child,
before life removed all the innocence

My father would lift me high
and dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance,
another walk,
another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

If I could steal one final glance,
one final step,
one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again

24 Update

2006-05-02T09:08:00.001-04:00

What would you do if you were sitting in a bar ever so casually trying to get some work done and a persistent stranger kept coming over to pick you up even though you blatantly told him to go away? On top of that, the work that you do is so top secret that if anyone even gets a glance at it your whole cover could be blown. If you are Chloe O' Brian, you invite the distraction over as if you are responding to his rudeness and then you stun gun him to shut him up. When he wakes up you stun gun him again and both times it looks as if he has passed out on the table.

Those were my favorite scenes from last nights very disappointing 24.

Ding Dong The kids are gone.

2006-04-24T12:23:00.000-04:00

Pesach was nice but I'm thrilled it's over.

We were home the whole time, yes that includes my kids, and now they're back in school. No more cooking. No more cleaning. No more nagging. No more whining. No more runny noses. If they have em' I can't see em'. It's now the teacher's responsibility.

It's not like I'm totally void of responsibility. I've got the baby home with me but if there is one thing that my kids did successfully do these past two weeks, it is make my baby look good and easy.

So life now goes back to normal and I couldn't be happier.

Pesach Expenditure

2006-04-05T09:29:00.000-04:00

It looks like we are staying home for pesach and not going to a hotel. As a pick me up to my pesach cleaning, I think that means that I have the allocated hotel money (8,000) or so to blow on Pesach at home? Some remodeling seems to be calling.

Reminders of Dad

2006-04-04T10:16:00.000-04:00

As Purim passed and Pesach is approaching, I can't seem to manage my thoughts from flowing to my dad constantly. Figuring out details of yahrtzeit and whether to say yizkor or not are all just triggers. I had thought I was doing so well until last week when I paid a shiva call to a friend of mine who unfortunately also lost her father. I've seen incidents before of what I did but didn't really expect it from myself.

During our shiva, a woman came to visit who lost her husband about three years ago. When she walked in, she burst into tears and we ended up consoling her. Her own loss, I suppose, overwhelmed her at our shiva house. Also, at my father's levaya, a friend of mine who had lost her father six months before found herself inconsolable. Why is it that other people's tragedies dredge up so much from one's own personal experience?

I had gone to pay a shiva call to console my friend and really found myself not just feeling her pain, but completely feeling mine again as if this were my own shiva house. I felt terrible. I really did go to comfort her but she and her mom ended up consoling me. It was embarrassing and I had to leave.

I guess I go though the overall motions of everyday life with this underlying sadness just under the surface that I could usually ignore but when confronted with these emotions in other people, I can't control my own. After speaking to so many people that lost someone, I know that this is normal. Unfortunately they say the sadness will never go away. Maybe the newness will, but the sadness will not. I suppose that when I was confronted with my friend losing her father, I didn't cry just for me, but for her as well. The thought of her going through all of what I had the last few months and the bleaker future which was in store for her was enough to push my sadness past the surface.

Visiting my grandmother, my dad's mother, this week, did not help. Luckily she is older and doesn't fully comprehend what went on with my dad. Being in his house where he grew up and where some of my greatest childhood memories are from, coupled with my grandmother being in the condition that she is when she was such a strong capable women proved to be another kick in the gut. The happiness replaced with sadness and old age, all part of life and all to depressing. My 80+ grandmother represented a sad picture of life and what the future holds down the road if we are lucky enough to make it till then.

It looks like the sadness is here to stay for a while. As much as I try to be normal, I can't disguise the truth from myself. I miss him terribly and tragedies as well as yom tovim and simchas seem to just enhance the feelings. Maybe it will subside again soon and maybe it won't. I doubt I will ever stop missing him.

Not Such A Bad Investment After All

2006-04-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

The Gameboy that my son had purchased turns out to be a lot more entertaining than I thought. I was worried about the non educational, baseless value of the gameboy when we bought it. I looked hard to find a game that didn't contain fighting in it. The last thing I wanted to do is encourage his fighting.

After searching through many a toy store for a cartridge for him to play, I came across a MsPacMan Game. Further, to my delight, the same cartridge contained DigDug, Pole Position, and Galaga on it. I'm an 80 's girl and being that I was MsPacMan champ back in the day, I couldn't hold back. Without hesitation I knew this was the game that would be perfect for my son. I wouldn't have to read directions, or worry about fighting. I mean Galaga is much better, just promotes shooting everything that drops down. And MsPacMan, getting eaten by monsters will not at all enhance my sons fear of the dark and what lies beneath his bed at night.

While my son was in school I bought it, unwrapped it, and popped it into the gameboy. I scrolled to the MsPacMan game and started to play. Things are a little different when playing without a joystick. Sometimes MsPacMan has a mind of her own and doesn't quite take the route you had envisioned for her in your head. But sometimes she does, and when she does she glides through the boards, eating power pellets, and chomping on blue monsters, raising her score as she goes. Ding Ding Ding, 10,000, free man, whoohoo up to the challenge. I can't stop. Pesach cleaning will have to wait, blogs will come later, and my son who really wants to play will just have to hold out until tomorrow when "mommy can teach him, after she learns more about how to play."

Folks gotta go, I think Galaga is calling my name.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas... I love that one

2006-03-28T15:17:00.000-05:00

- The reason why terrorists attacked New York City was because JackBauer was in LA.

- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

- Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

- If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

- Colin Farrell smokes a pack of cigarettes a day. Jack Bauer smokes apack of terrorists anytime he feels like it.

- Deaf people listen to Jack bauer.

- Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

- Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a realfact.

- Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

- Jack Bauer cannot stick his elbow in his ear, but he can stick your elbow in your ear.

- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the nexthalf-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

- Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of himfinding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to JackBauer.

- Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His secondfavorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make abomb out of MacGyver and get out.- Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

- The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.

- Jack Bauer once told God he needed access, the event has since beenreferred to as "The Big Bang."

- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

- When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.Jack Bauer frigging hates lemonade.

- Did you know there was a national disaster last night while you weresleeping? Of course you didn't, Jack Bauer was on duty.

- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for JackBauer.

- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Random Rant from a Desperate Housewife

2006-03-23T09:56:00.000-05:00

Some days I just feel like Cinderella with my evil husband, children, and mother nagging me from all ends. Just a random sampling from yesterday's requests.

From the mouth of the husband:
Cinderella, did you call the pediatrician?
Cinderella, What's for supper?
Cinderella, How's the pesach cleaning coming?

From the mouths of the kids:
Cinderella, get me dressed.
Cinderella, I'm thirsty.
Cinderella, can we have some friends over?
Cinderella, help me with my homework.

From the mouth of the mom:
Cinderella, when are you coming to visit?
Cinderella, did you speak to the doctor for me?
Cinderella, please bring back those things you took from the house.

Whah whah whah. Blogging... Take me away.

24

2006-03-21T20:28:00.000-05:00

OK, for anyone who watches 24 out there. 2 words. Audrey Raines!

Godol Hador vs Jrants

2006-03-21T09:20:00.000-05:00

Had it been a contest to see where I would receive more traffic from, Godol Hador wins. After commenting on GH's site and having a new post refreshed on Jrants, I received more traffic referrals from GH. Very impressive Godol!

Laid Back To a Fault

2006-03-20T11:21:00.000-05:00

I've been called many things in my life and I've certainly come to confrontational bouts many times. Usually I let it all slide. I'm extremely unconfrontational and would rather avoid fights. I guess it's due to the fact that I'm laid back.

The things that most people are sensitive towards, I really don't care much about so why bother fighting. Additionally, most people who are more head strong cannot be persuaded that easily to change their minds or thoughts, so why waste my energy on them? I've always felt an argument is only useful when it can impact change of some sort. I've always valued this laid back quality of mine and was kind of shocked when it got used in an argument against me. I wasn't really sure how being laid back could be thought of as a detriment when it's obvious how much easier my life is due to it. It got me thinking about the pros and cons of being laid back.

Being easy going lends itself to a relaxed way of life on most levels.

When my children have small ailments or problems that most mothers would be running to doctors with immediately, changing their schedules, and picking up kids early, I kind of let it slide for a day or two before taking it seriously which most of the time it's not.
When my house is messy and I'm too exhausted at night to clean, tomorrow is another day, it can always get done then.
While most mother's are anxious about homework and school, I don't really sweat it as long as my kids are not too far behind. I'd rather them take time out of school to spend with family than take school too seriously.
This can be taken a step further to tutors and therapists as well. Unless I believe there is real problem, my kids are not getting these just because all other kids are.
While others strive to keep up with the Jones, especially in the five towns, I don't really care much about what other people do. I'm totally confident with how I do things.
Politics, kind of useless unless you're going to devote yourself fully towards it and impact change. To just discuss and discuss without resolution is just useless.

Don't confuse all of these issues with neglectfulness. While my children aren't made crazy by school and other obligations of theirs, I do teach them the value of whatever it is that they are doing. They do their homework when they come home and review everything. If there was an issue that I noticed with my kids, I would certainly take them to therapists for evaluations or tutors if needed. Obviously if there is a real medical issue I do not ignore it by any stretch of the imagination. I take care of things but not at the expense of making myself or my family crazy with things. I'm not sure if I'm the opposite of OCD which would probably be total neglecting. I'm just completely moderate.

On the opposite end, there certainly are negatives.

While moderation is good on an emotional level, it lends itself to moderation at best or even under achieving on a practical level.
By thinking why make them crazy over school or extra curricular activities, chances are they won't be the best they can be at them as they won't push themselves.
I could be much more productive but in my head if I'm not going to do something fully, why do it at all.
It leads to indecisiveness. On a small level, when I go to a restaurant, I have no strong opinion about any individual item leaving me to toss back and forth between the choices. Decision making is very difficult for me.
I don't get the highs and lows that excite or destroy competitive people. This could be either positive or negative but on a negative note makes me a less passionate person.

All in all I would continue to be the laid back person that I am and try and keep the negatives at bay if I could. When I look at all the nervous, stressed out, and compulsive people out there, I deem myself lucky to have this trait. They have many struggles on a day to day level while I only really get hit or impacted by very serious issues.

Purim and a Bris

2006-03-10T12:35:00.000-05:00

My son was born a year ago today according to the hebrew calendar. It is the 10th of Adar.

I was worried beforehand that his bris might end up on Purim. Not that he would be born on Purim but rather the bris would fall out on Purim. Imagine a Purim bris. The moel might be drunk and a child could come home with the wrong place cut. And who knows if it was really a moel. It could've just been a disguise. Thank g-d his bris fell out a little after Purim and everything went smoothly.

I want to wish Yochi a happy Birthday and everyone else a freilach Purim and a good shabbos.

Blogging Issue

2006-03-10T10:19:00.000-05:00

Well, it's Friday. There's a lot to do yet I'm on my computer blogging.

Just curious if is it the powerful draw of blogging and reading or the avoidance of everything else I have to do? Not sure but either way this is stolen time. So I'm gonna be quick.

My husband thinks that my blogging has become a problem. Probably due to the already stated reason. I think it's very therapeutic and if he tried it, he might understand it better. So hub, this one's for you. Want to see you blog.

Tag

2006-03-07T10:11:00.000-05:00

Tag. I'm it. I don't usually care for these but since Just Passing Through was my sole reader for a while, I'll do it for him.

Q: WHOS THE 4TH PERSON ON YOUR RECEIVED CALL LIST?
A: Shayna Millstone

Q: WHATS YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
A: I forget what I have on there now and I'm too lazy to go check

Q: WHAT WERE YOU D0ING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT?
A: Sleeping

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE ON YOUR CELL PHONE SAY
A: Don't know. I really don't text much.

Q: WHOSE BED DID YOU SLEEP IN LAST NIGHT?
A: Mine

Q: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A: White turtleneck.

Q: MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
A: Sweet Home Alabama. It was on television the other night. I'm a sucker for romantic comedies.

Q: NAME 3 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES?
A: My baby, keys, and cellphone.

Q: WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEETS?
A: Don't laugh, pink.

Q: HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
A: $82.00. I'm not counting the change.

Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken?
A: The wings, preferably barbecued.

Q: What's your favorite town/city?
A: I love Lakewood, NJ. I grew up there and most of my family is still there. It just always feels like home.

Q:I can't wait to (till)...?
A: My son starts walking. He's right on the verge.

Q: When was the last time you saw your mom?
A: Last Sunday

Q: When was the last time you saw your dad?
A: January 12, 3 days before he passed away.

Q: When was the last time you talked to them?
A: Spoke to my mom about and hour ago. Speak to my dad all the time in my head.

Q: What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
A: Chicken soup, chicken, and sweet potato. Yes, it was leftover from shabbos.

Q: How long have you been at your current job?
A: I've been mommying for almost six years now.

Q: Look to your left. What's there?
A: A printer

Q: Who is the last person you spent over $50 on?
A: My family, food shopping, this morning.

Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
A: I can't remember.

Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day?
A: Hotmail and yahoo.

Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?
A: No

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
A: No.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
A: Yes, my back regularly hurts from carrying kids. One of the reasons I can't wait for my baby to start walking.

Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in?
A: NYC

Q: Do you own a camera phone?
A: Yes

Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
A: Cafe Vanilla Latte

Q: Recent time you were really upset?
A: Last night, don't want to get into it.

Q: Have you been in love with anyone?
A: Yes.

I now tag Still Wonderin.

A SuperWoman

2006-03-07T09:10:00.000-05:00

She stood as the face of courage. She was steadfast in her determination to raise awareness and find a cure for paralysis for her late husband, Christopher Reeve. She was the face of the Christopher Reeve Paralysis Foundation and the Christopher and Dana Reeve Paralysis Resource Center.

As a woman who never left her husband's side through his tremendous ordeal she shone as a ray of light and hope for so many. After her husband's passing, she swore to her teenage son that she would always be there for him.

Her spirit was seen again when she announced in August that she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She lost her battle yesterday. I am sorry for her father, sisters, stepchildren, and mostly for her son who she leaves behind. They should think of her for strength.

Food induced sleep

2006-02-28T12:47:00.000-05:00

It was obviously a good meal. I took his clothes off as he was ready for a bath. I threw them downstairs and I returned to find my son asleep in his high chair.

Saving Money

2006-02-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

About 3 months ago, we went to my family for the weekend. My kids spent most of the weekend with their cousins. A large part of the weekend was spent playing/fighting over the cousin's Gameboys. It was the first time my kids had been introduced to Gameboy and it was a big mistake.

My five year old decided that he needed a Gameboy. I'll tell you that when he decides something, there is no letting up. He's extremely persistent even borderline harassing and there is no ignoring him. I decided to use the opportunity to teach him a lesson in responsibility with money that I had been planning on for a while.

Until now my kids had been given ones, fives, and even ten dollars everytime they saw their grandparents. I've tried to protest that the grandparents should stop giving this as they are teaching them to devalue money and abuse it. Being that my kids are cuter than I, they prevailed and continued to collect money from them whenever they saw them. The problem is that they have no real concept of what money is and the money that they had been getting from their grandparents was treated in much the same way they had treated their toys which they had also received in abundance. In knowing that they would receive money just for showing up or asking nicely, there was really no reason to save it or treat it with any respect. I banned the toys from the house a while ago and started bringing in only toys that I thought they would love. Being that the kids received them much less frequently, they treated them a little better than they had. We've still got a long way to go with the toys. Now was the time to teach them how to handle money.

I told my son that if he wanted to get a Gameboy he had to save up for it. He asked me how much he needed to save up. I told him a Gameboy costs $80.00. "How will I ever save up $80.00?" "Each time you get money from your bubbys and zaidy, you need to put it away and save it." We bought him a wallet to hold his money and store it in. Every night he was busy counting his money, trading quarters for dollars, and fives for tens, and tens for twenties. He was very creative in his ways of acquiring money. My personal favorite was foot massages. Three dollars bought me fifteen minutes. It took him about 2 months to save up and last week I took his money and purchased him a Gameboy. We sprung for the first disk which costs about $30.00 (ridiculous amounts). I was not happy buying him a Gameboy as there is not even one disc which has any learning value to it. It's all just dumb amusement. We have a VTech game on the TV which is excellent. It taught him most of his letters and how to spell words. I wanted to buy him a handheld VTech game instead of the Gameboy. He told me that it was his money and he wanted a Gameboy. Who was I to argue?

He is now onto his next quest, this time some disks for the Gameboy. He certainly has a lot more understanding about money and how to spend it. The next lesson will probably be that it's not so easy to collect $80.00 in two months.

A First Meeting

2006-02-27T10:24:00.000-05:00

When they met, it had been love at first sight. She talked about him for months and the buildup for her was almost too much to bear. She lay in a hospital bed for the better part of a month recovering from a stroke. She was weak and couldn't move but talks of him got her through the day. She lost over 50 pounds that month due to the fact that her mouth muscles were weak. Her recovery was very slow.

I would go there each day and we would talk about what he would look like and how he would be. The doctors didn't think that she was able to talk but I told them they were wrong. She talked to me, especially about him. We talked about the first time they would meet. She told me that she had to get better so she could hold him in her arms. She envisioned him looking like me. Brown hair and hazel eyes perhaps. She waited with baited breath for the day when they would meet.

It was his arrival time and I was nervous. Would he be what we envisioned? Would he be OK? My fears had gotten the best of me but when I saw him I realized how silly they were. He was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. Perfect eyes, blue not hazel. Blond hair but not much of it. His head was shaped a little oddly but nothing that a hat could not hide. I was sorry she couldn't be there to meet him at the same time as me but she was coming home tomorrow. He would be the perfect medicine.

She came home from the rehab center the day after he and I had met. She got ready and I brought him to meet her. Her eyes lit up and she mustered up all of her strength to hold him. I put him on her lap and the broadest smile came across her face. It was the first time my mother met my son, her first grandson/child. She was very much in love.

Pesach planning

2006-02-22T14:56:00.000-05:00

We are looking for a hotel for Pesach. Can anyone recommend a nice hotel that won't break the bank (ha ha) and is driving distance from NY?

End Of Shloshim

2006-02-21T10:04:00.000-05:00

I can't believe the shloshim has passed. After spending a week in the cocoon that we call shiva, I didn't know what to expect. It's been roller coaster of sorts. One minute I'm fine, and the next I can't even stand straight. To say that I miss him is an understatement. To say that something is now missing from me does not even scratch the surface. I guess words just can't. My real fear is that the further we move away from him the less I'm going to remember or carry on. Most of us that were in aveilus are done. Just me and my brother have to continue. There should no longer be a focus on him and the rest should try and go on with normal life. I am thankful I don't have to do this. I don't want to stop. I don't want to forget. I'm glad I have the rest of the year.

While reveling in my depressive state and allowing myself to mourn, I am intrigued at how people are trying to help. Some people are so uncomfortable with topics that have any real meaning that they should probably stay away from them and just offer random chitchat. They offer therapy as an answer and look to devices that they think can help me. I want to tell them that I don't want to be helped. I want to focus on my dad. I am blind sighted when I try and go about my normal day and someone comes along and asks how I am handling things. Everything seems to be a trigger for me to break down. I don't mind this and I suspect it's normal. People are horrified. They don't like to see true emotions. They expect generic answers. "We are doing fine." "It's hard but we'll be OK." "We have our moments but thank g-d we have a great support system." When I can put on a good game face, I offer these generics to most acquaintances. While they may be true, it's just my trained responses. The reality is that I am far from OK and I have select moments of reprieve. I am a good actress so while I offer generics, they are well received.

In my sadness, I have found a great empathizer. One which I never expected, and probably due to his innocence, seems to be great medicine for me. My 5 year old son truly seems to be feeling my pain. While I obviously do not want to burden him with my sadness, I can't hide my crying all the time. While we look at pictures, I break down. We've changed shema at night to include my dad in shamayim. I crack every night at this point. He knows it's coming now and looks at me each time. "Mommy, I'm sorry. I know you are still sad. I am too. Zaidy was so great. We love him so much." While I'm not sure anymore what he even really remembers of my father's real personality, he offers up things which he thinks can help me. When he sees that they are not working, he tells me, "I know it's OK to be sad." He allows for me to be sad. I am thankful for his help now.

I look to pictures as a reminder but I do not nearly have enough. Just select events. I wear his sweaters around the house. Slowly we are going through his personal belongings. I cling on and I hope to retain him. I know in some ways he will always be with me but I fear I will lose so much. I already have. When my dad lost his father, I remember how sad he was. I recall him thinking that he couldn't go on. He did go on and life got back to normal... The new normal without his dad. Looking back, it feels like just yesterday that his father passed away and now he is reunited with him so I suppose it won't be long for me and my dad either. I can wait but I just hope I continue to feel him this strongly until we are reunited.

Question?

2006-02-14T09:36:00.000-05:00

Can anyone justify how a preschool can cancel school for a day due to public transportation not being available when most preschoolers do not receive public transportation anyway?

Winter Wonderland

2006-02-13T10:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday when we woke up to the snow, we were thrilled. Brand new, fresh snow covering the ground. Still falling from the sky, my kids looked out the window and could barely contain themselves. With sledding, snowballs, and snowmen, the possibilities were endless. The kids started searching for their snowpants and boots immediately. The hub was busy looking for the shovel, salt, and sled. Hub trekked his way to shul while I gave the kids breakfast and started dressing them (a 45 minute excursion with all of their layers). It was going to be a good day.

The calls started coming in from friends.
"Should we take the kids to the park and sled down the hills?"
"We should shovel the snow off the slide and let them slide right into the snow."
"Maybe we could shovel all the snow to a high mountain in the backyard and let them break a tunnel through it."
Such lofty aspirations soon fell through to just playing and being shlepped around on the sled. What 4 or 5 year old really needs more than making their own fun in the snow?

Friends of the kids dropped by throughout the day to play. As each kid went out to play with mine, the parents came in for some hot chocolate.

After about 2 hours of playing outside, we decided to call the kids in. They cried that they weren't ready to come in but their blaring red cheeks told a different story. Leaving a trail of boots, gloves, hats, and snowpants at the door, they couldn't get to the kitchen soon enough. We warmed them up with some pizza and fries and popped in a toy story video for them to watch. This proved to be the best distraction for them to not go back out again so soon. They sat for 2 hours watching intently while the adults ate lunch in peace.

Soon it was time for round 2 with a new set of friends. They went out with all the enthusiasm as they had in the morning but after about a half hour the laughter soon turned into whining due to exhaustion. That was our cue. We called the kids in, gave them a quick supper and bath and they fell right out.

This left me and hub to a quiet supper and a video (Wedding Crashers). It was the perfect Sunday.

Thank You

2006-01-23T14:38:00.000-05:00

The kindness of others was on display on so many levels in the past week. The visitors, the food platters, and the letters. The words, the thoughts, the hopes, and the prayers. People flew in and drove from far away. The outpouring was unbelievable. There were people who knew him who all had kind words. A small story about him put such a thrill in my heart. And then there were those that lost someone themselves. A connection with some I barely knew formed instantly. Others came who just knew me to lend support however they thought I could use it. The show of support did more for me than they knew. There were men who showed up for every minyan. A guy who grew up in our house supplied us with food almost everyday. My mother's best friend just sat in the house for many hours just to be used as a buffer whenever my mother was too uncomfortable to speak to people. It can't take away the loss of my father but it did emphasize the greatness of what we still have. I want to express my hakaros hatov to everyone for everything. And a special thanks to one such far traveler from Detroit who I know reads this.

HAMAKOM YENACHEM ...

2006-01-22T23:16:00.000-05:00

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
May Hashem comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim
The words echo in my head. How many times did I hear them this past week.

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
We lost him last Sunday. It’s been a whole week. Oh the torment. I don’t know day from night. My back hurts. My mind hurts. My heart hurts.

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
I tore kriah for my father. It was a beautiful levaya. What else could be expected for such a beautiful man? We buried my father. We put dirt on top of him and stuck a pole with his name on it so we would know it was him. We changed our shoes to slippers at the cemetery in the snow and the crowd split into two rows. We walked through them as they all recited those blaring words I would hear over and over again for the next week.

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
We went back to their house. The house where I grew up. The house where he lived. His tefillin, his clothes, his being all contained within the walls. My dad everywhere you turn except he’s not there.

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
There was a sefer torah in our house for a week. Shacharis, mincha, maariv round the clock. Tzedaka was given. Mishnayos will be learnt. A tree was planted for him in Israel as a living reminder of my father. Donations were given in his memory. His neshoma was with us in the house by way of a lasting lit candle. What a kibud for my father.

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
My mother and brother filled with so much sadness. His sister sitting in Eretz Yisroel. His mother and brother at the home where he grew up in Philadelphia. Cries around the world for a special man, a unique man. A man of stong belief, dignity, strength, courage, and above all pure joy. Our hearts are torn.

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
Family and friends rallied around us. A husband who while keeping me sane also managed my children as I could barely even muster up the strength to speak with them. A grandmother with just a tap on my shoulder. Unbelievable family and friends who traveled from far and wide just to offer whatever they could. Words of encouragement and support. What can they say. They can’t fill they void. They can only offer:

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"
This morning we got up from shiva. The words were said for the last time. We walked around the block as to escort the neshoma out. How do you escort a neshoma from his home? How do you continue without hearing the words? How do you go on without a father when that’s all you’ve ever known?

"HAMAKOM YENACHEM ESCHEM BTOCH SHAAR AVILEI ZION V'YERUSHALAYIM"

Hashem grants comfort to mourners of Zion and Yerushalayim. He keeps them strong and helps them live on. My father will live on with a reminder of him at the cemetery. He will live on in our hearts. He lives in my children. May his neshoma have an aliya.

Awkward Time

2005-12-16T10:43:00.000-05:00

My father lays on his deathbed in a hospital in Lakewood. Not quite in this world but not quite in the next, I have many questions about how to behave. Throughout my life there has always been guidance as to how to act in any given situation. As a child the rules were keep quiet in school, make noise and be free at parties bowling or rollerskating, stand up when a rabbi enters the room, look serious when davening in shul, be yourself at home. As an adult, stay stern when disciplining children, look concerned at PTA, act solemn at a shiva house.

While my father is technically still alive, the inevitable is imminent yet my father seems to show superior body strength in refusing to die. He lays stable in his bed. Could be days, weeks, or months (probably not). People look at me sadly when they see me or expect me to be crying day and night. They treat me as though I'm in aveilus. There is a lot of guilt in doing just normal things with my family. Can I plan a little vacation or is that so inappropriate? My mother and I went out the other night and we were left thinking we were doing something wrong. I hope we don't get caught. What would people think, us enjoying ourselves while my father lies in a hospital. The truth is there is nothing left for us to do for him and I don't think that we should be absorbed in illness all the time. We are not sure if sitting in the hospital with him is of any use to him (of course we still go all the time) and it is certainly just depressing for us. The worst is for him as while he was sick, he did not want any visitors. He didn't want people to remember him that way. Now people are coming all the time to say their final goodbyes. He would hate it. It's almost like a viewing. I think it's important for us to get our minds off of things and try and distract ourselves a little bit. On the other hand, I can't help but prepare for aveilus in cutting my hair more frequently or squeezing in a bit more shopping than usual. The torah dictates how to behave in every situation from the moment a person is born till they leave this world. I really should find out how to deal with this in between time.

What bracha do we make on carrots?

2005-12-07T14:21:00.000-05:00

Don't know if anyone even glances here anymore but I'll write anyways. In my children's never ending quest to show who knows more, last night at dinner there was a debate. My middlest said, "I know where oranges come from, they come from trees and we make haetz." To which my oldest replied, "well I know where grape juice comes from, it's crushed up grapes and we make hagafen." Finally my middlest won by saying, "oh yeah, well I know where carrots come from, it grows from the snow." I think he saw some snowmen.

Heavy thoughts for the New Year

2005-10-14T11:33:00.000-04:00

When is it too much? In terms of my father, things are looking pretty bad for him. We have consulted with a rav regarding resuscitation and intubation orders. He's been in the hospitals for the better part of eight weeks now. He was home for the two days of rosh hashana and the one day of yom kippur. He's been in the hospital all the days surrounding it and is going back today. He is not mobile but is fully aware and conscience. Sometimes I think that is not so great and when I look at the alternative I realize I am wrong. With all that he has been through, we inevitably ask ourselves which is better, living so sickly for so long or g-d forbid the alternative. I think it's easy for us to ask being that we have the option to go see him and talk to him in the hospital or at home. I believe that when there is no option of this anymore, I will have my answer and wonder how I even questioned it. I asked him how he would like to handle end of life issues, and he responded however the rabbi's tell me to putting all of his own feelings and pain aside. He faces these issues with more maturity, grace, and humor than I would ever have expected to see. I am a regular at the hospital on most days besides shabbos and yom tovim. I try not to complain too much about the commuting and obvious strains on my family. On Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur I davened that I should have my father for a long long time in a healthy form but I think I would now change that to any form I can have him in.

Good Yom Tov

2005-10-03T12:22:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to wish everyone a good yom tov and a healthy and happy new year. May this year bring only good things to everyone. May whatever g-d has planned for us be for the best.

The power of Challah Baking

2005-09-23T12:38:00.000-04:00

I was supposed to get 40 people to bake challah for shabbos in order to help with a refuah for my dad. All they had to do is to do hafrashas challah after chatzos on friday afternoon, add the yehi ratzon from shemonah esrei and insert my dad's name into it. It can only be done for one person so if someone is doing it for someone else, she cannot add my father's name as well. Doesn't sound to bad, right? I found about 3 people who actually bake challah regularly and 2 of them do it before friday. 2 to 3 more people said they would do it this week for him even though they do not do it regularly. That left only 36 more people that were needed. People started asking everyone they knew. After about a week and a half we got about 25 people to sign on which I feel is an impressive number. A friend of mine spoke with our rabbi and he said that the number of people is arbitrary and everything helps anyway so we should continue on with the challah baking with whoever we have. I spoke with a friend of mine last night and she told me she knows a woman who has a list of about 500 challah bakers. Every week she assigns 40 of them to a choleh for a refuah and next week my dad and mom are on the list. So 80 people will be making challah with my parents in mind. I hope that g-d is listening.

We Have Takeoff

2005-09-07T09:06:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been a while. I could write a tremendous amount about cancer or about my golden vacation but the only thing I really want to talk about is my 5 month old. For the past few weeks, he has been rocking back and forth on all fours. He gets up on his hands and feet into crawling position. He sways back and forth 3 or 4 times and then falls flat on his face. Yesterday, he got up, swayed, and his right knee pulled forward about an inch before he fell on his face. Guys, I think we have a crawler.

Off to a very good week

2005-08-16T10:06:00.000-04:00

I had a problem with my toe. I tried to take care of it myself. Instead of making it better, I caused an infection. I went to the doctor and he did surgery on the spot. I would have opted not to do the surgery right away and wait except he told me that my baby could catch my infection from nursing. He stuck a big needle in my foot. Need I say anymore about the process. I thought I was going to pass out. My toe now has a bandage which makes it look like a toe out of a cartoon. No shoes fit and I've got to drive for the next 2 days. I'm off to the city for my dad and then to Lakewood. Sleeping over there. Tomorrow I take my mom to Philly and back to Lakewood for her treatment and maybe come back to Cedarhurst or wait til thursday morning. I can only wear flipflops for my week of walking and driving. No other shoes fit over the big fat toe. He told me to soak it in salt water 2 -3 times daily. I almost did it and then I thought what is he nuts, salt water on an open wound. I have to bring myself to do it "for it to heal properly." If and when this heals I'll probably need more surgery for walking on it improperly. I have no tolerance for pain so I'm popping pain medication all day. Wonder if that feeds to the baby. He has been sleeping more. Ahh, maybe i'll keep up the pain medication even after everything if it makes him sleep. All and all it's looking like it's gonna be a good week. I'll try and blog if I find a computers available in hospitals. Have a good one.

The wisdom of my middlest

2005-08-15T13:16:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago on shabbos morning I was really tired. My kids got up somewhere around their regular time of 6:00 AM. After about 1 hr to 1 1/2 hour of trying to fend them off without TV, I told my husband to bring them down to breakfast and let me sleep. He rolled over and said, "You bring them down." I told him that one of the only things he does with the kids is giving them breakfast so how about not slacking off on that. OK, skip to this past shabbos. Same scenario, I told my husband to take them down to breakfast. He rolled over and said, "You bring them down." My middlest (a term I borrow from Airtime) then said, "but daddy, All you do in the house is give us breakfast so please just do it." After my husband cracked up for the next 10 minutes he then got mad at me somehow for my son saying this. It's not like I trained him. My son noticed how upset my husband got afterwards so he thought about it and he said, "You know daddy you're right, you also make havdalah."

Blogging Test

2005-08-15T11:03:00.000-04:00

Ok, this is a test to see if I can figure out how to link things without the word link on the bottom....

Here it goes in case you are looking for a gastroenterologist here it is.
Perhaps a women's burberry bag on sale is something you're interested in, here that is.
Maybe you want to go to Golden Acres Farm with us. You could simply look here .

Thanks for your help JPT. Let's see if it works.

...When pedestrians are present

2005-08-12T11:13:00.000-04:00

All over the US people are allowed to turn right on a red light with the exception of the five boroughs, I believe. Outside of the five boroughs, when they do not want you to turn on a red light, there is a sign that says NO TURN ON RED. A friend and I were driving yesterday and we came to a light. There was a NO TURN ON RED sign and she proceeded to make a right at the red light. I said, hey stop the illegalities while I am in the car. She said what are you talking about? I told her she made a right on red when there was a sign that told her not to. She said that the sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside. No sorry just a tangent. She said the sign said:

NO TURN ON RED
when pedestrians are present.

I said that that was kind of dumb being that should be intrinsic to people not to turn and hit a pedestrian. It should not have to be specified. I told she was lying, delusional, and that she made up a sign. We put a little wager on it, drove back and she proved me wrong. I now owe her lunch but how stupid! Shouldn't people know not to turn on red if there is someone walking? What's next?

NO TURN ON RED
if there is a bus or truck coming.

Mr Serious

2005-08-12T10:08:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately as a follow up to this post, we were correct. My father has taken a bit of a turn for the worse and they are changing his treatment. Hopefully it will take. The funny thing is that no matter what my dad gets tossed, he can't seem to treat it too seriously. The nurse always comes in before the doctor to ask him if anything has progressed and how he feels etc... He told her he feels lousy as he put on about 20 pounds in the last few weeks. She asked him if he has any pains and what he does to alleviate them. He said he was feeling some pain for a few hours the day before and it only stopped when he put on a bigger pair of pants. To which she burst out laughing and replied "Now you know what we women feel like." All in all I think that he is more upset about not fitting unto his size 32 pants than anything else. Additionally when the nurse asked him if he was taking any pain medication. He said yes, "I use my wife's prescribed percusets all the time." A smart and serious man.

Excerpts from A Coffee Table Book - An MO perspective

2005-08-11T09:31:00.000-04:00

From the Perlmutter-Lubin Marketing Services/citicorp Archives.....

A survey I received at work dated 11/20/1997

In an effort to get to know you better, we have written a quesionnaire. The purpose of this questionnaire is to fill in some basic facts that are missing from the firm's database. It will aid in the facilitation of the continuing of our human resource database.

While some questions may seem personal, don't hesitate to answer them. This questionnaire is confidential, and has been sent out to several people, so we will not know what you answers are, just that they are one of several possible answers.

Without further rambling I present the following

Where do you work (city)?

What do you do?

Do you know anything about an LLC?

What is your favorite color?

Were you and soandso holding hands that night at Atlantic Beach?

Is that why he bought everyone breakfast?

What are your measurements?

What is your favorite movie?

How often do you drink or smoke if you do?

What ever happened with that guy whose apartment I ended up in on the upper west side and we watched some dumb movie and then I drove to Philly to go home?

That is all for now.

There was a follow up which stated:
Please identify yourself. Your response has been noted in our database. However, to insure that you never receive this questionnaire again we must ask that you send your name, address, phone number, social, and mother's maiden name.

Thank you in advance,
The management

This one goes out to GOVI

2005-08-10T14:45:00.000-04:00

There once was a man who was funny
he sometimes goes to the gym
watching everyone work out
is often pretty grim

oh yes, he claims to treadmill
and even to weighlif
but if you really know him
you'd know he's always in the schvitz

watching so much working out
can cause him lots of sweat
it's so totally exhausting
and not fun at all I'd bet

answerings texts and phones
also proves to be tough
which is why when he saunas
he goes right in the buff

now as we all know with saunas
you'd be very hard to find
the steam fills your eyes
it almost makes you blind

so to GOVI'S delight or maybe his fear
I'm not really sure which
when the other man came near
he was almost termed his "b****"

the guy didn't know what hit him
he almost sat on GOVI's wood
(please excuse me looking for rhyming words is not as easy as it looks)
GOVI gave a quick cough
and the guy jumped as far as he could

We're not sure if he knew what almost happened
or how much of him he saw
but both GOVI and the guy
were almost changed people in the raw

That concludes my intro to GOVI
and with that I say welcome aboard,
hope you enjoy your blogging
when there's time you can afford

Postworthy for JPT

2005-08-10T14:18:00.000-04:00

Being that this weeks parsha is devarim and it talks about the jews being as many as the stars in the sky I challenged JPT who came up with this one while on a beach:

"When g-d said that the jews should be like the sands on the beach, which beach was he talking about?"

Believe me that took a lot of thought. I wasn't sure if he would need to take a plane respond to the challenge but he has outdone himself again and without further ado here it is:

"Figuring how our own Milky Way galaxy alone has about 100 billion stars, I'm not sure if the earth can sustain that many people, let alone Jews alone. If the verse is referring to those stars we can see in the sky, then that's only a few thousand; not the best blessing. So we're abviously talking figuratively here.I liked this much better. I don't know of any studies that can quantify the number of sand granules on any beach.As for the laws being passed left and right, I'm just waiting for them to ban nose-picking while driving. I think that we can conclusively show that nose-picking has caused many more accidents than talking on the cellphone."

Thank you JPT. Keep em coming.

NewsWorthy

2005-08-10T11:10:00.000-04:00

On the drive to and from the city yesterday I listened to news radio 1010 due to the fact that it was the nine days. Their claim to fame is: "You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you the world." In that 22 minutes they gave me the traffic and weather every 10 minutes probably accounting for 6 to 8 minutes depending on how much traffic there was leaving approximately 14 minutes for the rest of the "world." Within the 14 minutes there was the following top story that they repeated within each 22 minute length of time that I was in the car (about 6 times). A man that goes by the name of Winter is traveling around the world trying to stop at every Starbucks along the way.

Not to undermine the extreme impact of what someone who travels from Starbucks to Starbucks can have on this world but I'm trying to figure out what makes something newsworthy? It has me thinking back to this post by airtime who also wondered who determines what makes Lance Armstrong's accomplishments so spotlight worthy or if anyone really cares. It would make sense to say that if the news were to be reported on a small town basis, they might have to look for things to fill the 22 minutes with like Starbucks like stories. But if 1010 is claiming to cover the world in 22 minutes you would think that they could come up with more. The remaining time from the 22 minutes was filled with what I would deem actual newsworthy items including the Discovery landing and Dana Reeves diagnosis and so forth. I'm disappointed with 1010 and I think that a better title for their 22 minute cycles should be "You give us 22 minutes and we'll give you the traffic and weather a few times, some stupid stories, and maybe something of importance if you get lucky."

Response to previous post

2005-08-10T09:24:00.000-04:00

I've received a lot of flak over this post saying that I have been sympathetic to an anti semite. I'd like to reiterate my sentiments.

"I don't know him nor do I care much for his news casting which is all I did know of him and yet I still feel this distinct pain at the thought of how he died."

I am not condoning Peter Jennings ideas, just merely sympathizing over the way the he died and what his family is going through.

Onto a more exciting topic. I figured out how to link and this post is looking pretty nice to me. Good job, swiftthinker!

Deep Thought

2005-08-09T10:18:00.000-04:00

Why do buses not need car seats for 3, 4, and 5 year olds but we needed to purchase a bunch of new carseats for carpool to not break the law?

Adult Question

2005-08-08T11:44:00.000-04:00

Every night we lay down with our kids and say shema with them. We ask g-d to take care of everyone and include a special request for everyone that is more sick than not. We end it with especially taking care of my parents. My oldest asked me one night if Hashem is responsible for making people better. I said yes. He said then who makes them sick. So I said Hashem. And then he asked, "Why does he make them sick if he is just going to make them better?" My 5 year old asking questions I do not like answering.

Common Bonds

2005-08-08T09:22:00.000-04:00

In case you have not heard yet, Peter Jennings has died at the age of 67 from lung cancer. He announced that he was sick about 4 months ago. During his announcement, he had stated that he would try and work a bit here and there as much as his treatment allowed for. We had not heard from him since that announcement so I suspected he was not tolerating his treatment too well. I don't know him nor do I care much for his news casting which is all I did know of him and yet I still feel this distinct pain at the thought of how he died. I believe that if he had died in a car accident, I would not have thought twice about it.

This is not the first time I've experienced these thoughts. I have strong attachments to anyone I know who has a family member with a cancer diagnosis or has lost one to it. I feel as though I personally know/knew Melissa Etheridge, Olivia Newton John, Jerry Orbach and many others. When I meet strangers in Sloan Kettering, I become so attached to them from just a brief time that I find myself visiting them and talking to them for a long time afterwards. I have been to a shiva house of a perfect stranger and I find myself always wondering about those (especially the frum ones) that I do not keep in touch with. I had thought about working/volunteering as a person in hospitals to talk to the sick people. I am very good at it and I have a way of putting sick people at ease even if just for a few moments. The problem is that I would not be able to leave my work at the hospital and the thoughts of these people would monopolize my mind. I obviously will not be doing that line of work.

I suppose that it's just common bonds with people that attach us in general. A lot of people can not talk to their single friends after they are married just because they don't have anything in common with them anymore. People with kids look for other people with kids as friends for commonality purposes. Common Bonds amongst people are pretty strong and inescapable. I look forward to happier things being the common bonds for me with people like great survivor stories. I believe I will be thinking of Lance Armstrong a lot in the future.

You know who you are

2005-08-04T20:08:00.000-04:00

This post is for someone who reads a lot of people's blogs but never writes his own. Oh, he has plenty of opinions but only voices them in person. Not only does he prey on the grace of other's by having hours of free reading entertainment, but he does not even comment. How long can someone continue on this obnoxious path without feeling ashamed? If that's not be bad enough, he also had the nerve to call me an amateur writer. I might have taken that from Mirty, Air, Veev, JPT, or Still Wonderin, but not someone who sits on the sidelines and just reads. This is a challenge from an amateur to "Mr Read It All". I'll go head on with you blog for blog and then we'll see who the amateur really is!!!!

Animal House

2005-08-03T15:01:00.000-04:00

Last week we heard an animal tapping above the light in our bathroom. My husband went upstairs to the attic to see what it was. He heard it but couldn't find it. We called the exterminator. His name is James VanDerBeek. I thought Dawson was coming to look for birds up in the attic but he just shared his name. He determined that there were squarrels up there. He put up 2 traps with peanut butter in them and was to come back everyday to check if they were caught. After 2 days, we got a squarrel. By law, he was not allowed to kill the squarrel in our house so he removed it in the cage alive. I was panicked to say the least. I believe he had to bring it at least five miles away from here so it couldn't find it's way back and then he could do what he pleased with it. The other light in our bathroom is broken and hanging down. Where there is one squarrel, there could be others, and they could come right through the light into our bathroom. I decided to give up the house to them. I don't want to live with squarrels. After a few more days of checking, James removed the other trap today deciding that squarrel A that was caught did not bring his friends or family.

It that wasn't bad enough, this morning right under that same light, we saw a bunch of little worms. Husband and I decided that James had been wrong and it was a bird in the vent that James did not see and it was dead and maggets were falling from the light from it's dead body. We called James. He came and couldn't find the source. He thought our story about the dead bird seemed plausible except if it were true the stench probably would've have prevented me from even writing this story or being in our house. He ruled that out, sprayed the bathroom, and put little glue traps in corners to see where the worms were coming from. I say enough is enough. We've had aunts and moths and squarrels and now this. It's an animal world and I'm just a visitor. I think I give up. I'll keep you posted on the worms/maggets.

Treatment Options

2005-08-03T14:14:00.000-04:00

I went to Lakewood yesterday to visit with the parents. My dad's symptoms seem to have gotton a little worse. It started a few weeks ago when his swelling in his stomach started showing up again. When we saw the doctor last week, I tried to convince her to give him a cat scan to see if there had been any change. She did a physical exam and determined that any further looking would be unnecessary. I find it really interesting when doctors totally ignore the concerns of the patients or the patient's families. My father wouldn't push the issue as he is sick of cat scans all together so if it's not doctor mandated, he is not asking for one. Aside from the fact that if a person is already sick, why not err on the side of caution? She was not even his regular doctor. She was just a covering doctor. I don't think that he's seen his regular doctor in close to 6 weeks now. So it's floating doctors with no real knowledge of what he regularly looks like. And yet she still rules out a cat scan. Since that visit has passed, his stomach has grown more and he has weakened a bit more than usual. I almost think about taping each conversation with the doctors so if g-d forbid something happens and it was due to neglect on their part, we have evidence. I don't know the right course of action. I can't push him to go somewhere else as he's comfortable here and he will in no way move somewhere else. So it's either here or no treatment. I think about complementary options to his chemotherapy but I have a hard time playing g-d and figuring out what to try if it's not "FDA Approved." If anyone has any suggestions, my ears are open.

Too much TV?

2005-08-01T11:57:00.000-04:00

My 5 year ols son was asking me to teach him how to tie his shoes this past weekend. I taught him the first part and then lost patience. I told him the rest was for another day. ?He threw a bit of a tantrum and demanded I teach him right away. I explained that some things take longer to learn than others. He said "but mommy Callou can do it and he's only 4."

How Old Are We

2005-07-27T10:32:00.000-04:00

I have a husband and 3 children. My first child created a whole new set of relatives in our families. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, great aunts, and great grandmothers. My friends live in all different areas with varying size families as well. We own a home and 2 cars. My husband has a title company. I had a nice corporate job for several years until my second child was born. We are involved in shul politics.

I have adults who I would prefer to call Mr and Mrs asking me to refer to them by their first names. A friend of our had his 40th birthday this past year. The conversations with friends range from new children and carpool to how to dealing with sick parents. We have a few friends that are divorced and some that are bordering on it. There are scandals in the community which people our own age are involved in. People are moving from starter homes to life long homes. Many of our friend's kids are already in sleepaway camp and approaching bar mitzvah age. When did this all happen?

In my head I'm still 18. I still watch reruns of 90210, dawson's creek, and melrose place. I still relate to dating stories of my friend's siblings. My favorite lunch is baked ziti from a pizza shop over any salad or soup from any sit down restaurant. Ideally I would love to eat chips all day and not diet but unfortunately all of that has caught up with me. I would like for my job to be a personal shopper at malls for people or to be a movie critic. I'm truly amazed at how quickly life passes.

A restaurant story

2005-07-22T14:36:00.000-04:00

My husband comes home a little earlier on Fridays. We went out to lunch at our favorite restaurant. We love the food but hate the service. We wanted more water but ended up finishing our meal before even getting the waitress's attention. At the end of the meal my husband called the cashier on his cell phone and asked her to please bring some water to the corner table.

Dougies

2005-07-21T19:11:00.000-04:00

A new Dougies opened up in the five towns. We went there on opening night. There was no party, we just went to support our friends that own it. Same good food we know and love. A larger menu than what I remember. Warm ambiance. The service was great. It's a wonderful family place. I don't know that it's the kind of food that I love on a regular basis but it's great for events (superbowl). The owner says that down the road he is considering sports nights and other themed events there which would also be a great draw. I highly recommend trying it.

Blogging World

2005-07-21T09:19:00.000-04:00

After reading a bunch of people's blogs, I am not sure that I'm cut out for the blogging world. Currently my thoughts vary between the extremely heavy issues or meaningless mundane things. After all the energy I exert on my family these days, the only thing left that my brain seems to allow for is stupidity like whether Jude Law can have a stable love life. The venue for many blogs seems to be community topics, politics, or what's going on in the world. I don't know that I currently have the capacity to care about any of these issues. I'm amazed at how absorbed people are with these topics that don't directly affect them. I love the personal stories I read. It makes Mirty's writing so exceptional and I don't even know her. Maybe I'm just all about people and not issues at all. Maybe it has nothing to with my energy levels. Regardless, I can't express myself nearly as well as Mirty and my creativity levels don't compare to airs. I think I'll still keep writing as it's a great release for me although I will try and keep it light. And I'll keep reading as it's more entertaining than TV. After all most of the blogs I read are written by friends. It's a great way to keep in touch and find out what's happening with people.

Bathroom Dilemma

2005-07-19T14:25:00.000-04:00

When a baby's bum is exposed to the air do you think it makes him go to the bathroom? Everytime I change my son's diaper he makes again right after.

True Love in Hollywood

2005-07-19T11:44:00.000-04:00

Do you think that folk's in Hollywood can really have an honest love life or marriage when they're job entails kissing and sleeping with some very beautiful people. I read this in the post this morning
http://breakingnews.nypost.com/dynamic/stories/J/JUDE_LAW_APOLOGY?SITE=NYNYP&SECTION=ENTERTAINMENT&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2005-07-18-21-40-38
and couldn't help thinking how difficult it must be. As you can see I'm not really proficient in linking nicely. I apologize for the ugliness. It also intrigued me that Jude Law's affair made breaking news. I mean who really cares besides me.

Daily Highlights

2005-07-18T12:12:00.000-04:00

My daily highlights include:

When my kids board the bus or go off to school or camp (especially on Mondays)

My morning coffee uninterrupted.

My dad's daily phonecall.

Su Doku time.

When my kids walk through the door from school or camp.

When my husband walks through the door after work.

The few minutes after the bath when the kids are still clean.

Shema Time in bed with kids when I learn about their day.

Occasionally dinner out with the hub.

Full five hour intervals of sleep at night depending on my baby.

A Five Year Old's Phonecall

2005-07-15T08:59:00.000-04:00

My 5 year old only knows how to dial one phone number. Every morning, day after day, he calls my parents because he can. He used to speak to my mom every morning and now he dials, says hi, and hands me the phone. The other morning I heard him call my mother and then nothing. I asked him if he spoke to bubby when he called her. He said "No mom, she was unable to come to the phone right now."

My Father My Friend

2005-07-14T20:42:00.000-04:00

Thanks for all the replys. I guess Air's plug really helped. How can I top "To Trim or Not To Trim?" I find myself with a lot of downtime in the car these days with a lot of time to think. My father fell ill a little over a year ago. The diagnosis was not good. The doctors at the local hospital didn't give him long to live. We quickly shifted to a top hospital in the city. While the diagnosis there was not much better at least they were willing to try and help.

Up until then I had gone to visit my parents fairly regularly. Once a month isn't bad as they are a 2 hour trip away and I have a family of my own. My obligatory visits worked out even better for me as my grandmother, brother, and aunt all live in Lakewood as well. We covered a lot territory with each trip. When my father got sick, after spending everyday there for 2 weeks until a regular setup was worked out with him, I started going regularly to the city or Lakewood at least once a week. I figured I would do my Bikur cholim and visit my family at the same time. Well, I got a lot more than I bargained for.

While I don't know if it's the better hospital, great doctor, davening, tehillim, or the many rabbeim that my husband gets brachos for him from, my father is baruch hashem doing exceptionally well for his situation. I'm sure that it's a combination of it all with g-d guiding it. In the last year I managed to spend more time with my dad than I have in the 10 years before. Not only do I see him but it is fun time. It's not the bedridden sick time which we had initially anticipated. He is able to go to lunch and shop in between treatments and feels well and is totally functional. We are extremely lucky to say the least. When we talk, as he thinks like I do, or I should say I think like he does, we tend to finish each other's sentences. He appreciates stories about my kids more than my friends do as he is their grandfather. He has become a great friend and confidante especially because all the protocol of fathering and daughtering is mostly out of the way.

My point in all of this is to tell you all not to take your parents for granted. While things might seem normal or maybe not, take advantage of the time you have with them. Things can turn bad in the blink of an eye and you don't want to wait for that to appreciate anyone. Not only can parents make great babysitters, they can also make great friends.

To Trim or Not to Trim

2005-07-14T20:39:00.000-04:00

After reading and reading and reading other people's blogs for the last few days, I decided to venture out on my own. not quite sure what i'll be writing about but I got the itch so please join me for some good reads and some not such good reads.

Yesterday, my husband got a haircut which he does pretty frequently. He gets one about every 2 weeks and is training my boys to do the same. For my boys this isn't such a problem. They have enought hair coming in that compensates for the short cut and it proves to be a great time filler for them on Sundays when we can't figure out what to do. My hub on the other hand is receeding a bit as most men in their thirties are. He's not as bald as a friend of mine who once told me his head was groing taller than his hair but there's no need to enhance the receeding. These frequent haircuts tend to make him look like he has less hair than he does. I don't think he should be trimming as often as he does. He prefers the quick trims as he thinks they make him look neater and more professional. Any thoughts?